My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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