O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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