hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
