Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize