so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
