YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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