do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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