Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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