YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
