so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
