Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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