I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
