If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
