Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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