Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
