names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What drink are we having for lunch?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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