a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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