Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
