as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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