So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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