I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
