would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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