sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
