we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
