Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
