I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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