i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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