just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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