Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
