I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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