I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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