It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All the doctor said was why
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
