Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
