i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
