like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
