i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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