i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
