why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
