It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
