White coat. Heels.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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