Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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