chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
