I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize