i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You made out with two different species that night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
