Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
