I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's never too late to be topless.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
