is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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