we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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