We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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