real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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