know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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