Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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