As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize