You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
