Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
