Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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