Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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